The mark of the immature is the eagerness to die for a cause.
The mark of the wise is the willingness to live for one.
Melinawhoforgotwhosaidthat
On Fri, 27 Oct 1995, Rachel Henig wrote:
> I seem to have missed the original post so I'm sorry that I don't
> know whom Critter has quoted, since he didn't say, and I hope you
> don't mind that I'm answering too. :)
>
> > When you mean war, are you talking about an all out war as in
> > blood shed, violence, and all that ugly stuff that makes war "hell"?
> > Or are you using war metaphorically, as in you're fighting the laws
> > that you see are evil?
>
> There are already _laws_ against rape, and even some good new ones
> (The new PA gov. passed a law a year ago? giving explicit definition
> to the word 'no.').
>
> There are different types of definitions of War. Just as the gulf war
> is different from the war in bosnia, is different from the drug war
> in the states.
>
> War is also a state of mind and atmosphere. It is turmoil. It is
> fear. It is watching your back and never forgetting about your own
> personal well being.
>
> I used to think that I could get away from it - that things and times
> were changing. But it's just gotten worse, and sometimes it is more
> than I can handle.
>
> As a teenager, my ONE fear was getting raped. I didn't think that I
> would ever be able to get over it, and i had profound respect for
> women (never knew any men who were raped) who managed to piece their
> lives back together. When I was younger I used to think rape was
> rare, but now it is the norm! IT IS NORMAL TO KNOW SOMEONE WHO HAS
> BEEN RAPED. I don't blink. I'm not shocked. But I AM angered. Every
> SINGLE woman *I know*, has been either raped or assualted or molested
> in some way. The women in my office take it for granted. It's easier
> that way than constantly fighting the system. they don't ACCEPT it,
> but they know it happens.
>
> And then when it happened to me, I nearly didn't get through it.
> I nearly didn't survive. I still don't honestly know how I came
> through it alive.
>
> But I did.
>
> And I thought I could get over it.
>
> But it's with me every day.
>
> It was with me last night when I went down to the pub to listen to
> some jazz and this older, well dressed man wouldn't keep his hands
> off me. Not the misfit or social outcast. The suit schmoozing with
> with other suits.
>
> So I left the good music that was really filling me up inside, after
> pushing this guy away twice, and moving away. The air was cold, and
> my face was hot with anger. It never leaves me, it jsut keeps
> building up inside. Is that what war is about? It's a war inside
> myself that is tearing me apart. At that moment, when I could have
> nearly broken, I understood why some people are driven to violence
> out of their anger. That I had such a build up of anger inside me
> from all the times I'd been felt up, cornered in a hallway or dark
> street corner, or patronised, that I wanted - needed - to lash out.
> If I didn't explode, I would cave in. And why shouldn't I lash out at
> the people who had done this to me? Why should I be the one to
> suffer?? I was so angry!! My body was leaden and I could hardly lift
> my arms. It was like an overwhelming burden, this fight I was in. And
> I was so tired.
> Then I crashed, and I just wanted to give up. I thought, but what
> right do I have to give up the fight? If *I* fight, then the next
> girl might not have to go through what I went through. And then I
> thought, but since when is it my obligation to fight?
>
> I may never have inner peace, but so long as I keep getting angry,
> I'll only be beating my head against a brick wall, making everything
> seem more hopeless. So at the present, I'm going to back out of
> these discussions as a way for me not to dwell on what has so
> recently happened to me.
>
> In search of an inner quiet,
>
> --
> Rachel Henig <r.henig@ucrysj.ac.uk>
> "Maybe that's all we need, is to meet in the middle of impossibility,
> standing at opposite poles, equal partners in a mystery."
>