WINDOWS 95 thrust its way in front of an unsuspecting public in Hong
Kong yesterday, increasing the heart rate of spods everywhere.
Lai See was praying for something disastrous to happen so that all
that publicity would be thrown back in the face of super-spod Bill
Gates, and -- miricle of miricles -- it happened.
It didn't quite happen on a global scale, but here in Hong Kong we
managed to totally cock the whole thing up and turn the largest
marketing campaign of all time into farce.
Microsoft decided to launch Windows 95 by having an all-singing,
all-dancing party in Times Square.
The press were there in force being hounded by Microsoft public
relations girls, marketing executives and little cuties in skimpy
Microsoft mini-skirts and tight tops. It was tacky beyond belief.
The coup de grace was the appearance of 12 male and female in
leotards prancing Times Square.
Their job was to leap around while carrying huge piece of a jigsaw
puzzle, which they would gradually attach to a large board.
The idea was the dancers would put the puzzle together and it would
spell Windows 95. Sound simple, but unfortunately Microsoft hadn't
quite factored into the equation Hong Kong's notorious ability to get
the English language a little askew.
So, as the jigsaw took shape, it became apparent to those watching
that they were in fact witnessing the global launch of a piece of
software called Mindows 95.
Despite frantic gesticulations sfrom the gathered Mircrosoft spods,
the dancers remained blissfully unaware of the mistake and carried on
with their gyrations.
Just that would have been enough for Lai See, but the disaster wasn't
over yet.
The music came to a crashing crescendo, the dancers gave it their
all, and dead on cue the 95 at the end of the puzzle came crashing to
the floor to a smattering of applause of the stunned audience.
So, from Hong Kong we send Bill Gates our very own message: What a
manker!